OK so it's been just over a month since I had my lap, I feel in a position to comment just how its been.
There's been a lot more awareness on the television this week about Endometriosis, there was a lady in Casualty that had it and then a lady was on embarrassing bodies with it. It makes me feel better to see things like this. There isn't enough awareness anywhere about Endo. I feel now that there is people out there with this condition. I never thought I was the only one, I knew 2 million women in the UK had it but I didn't sort of believe it because I'd never met anyone with it, seen anyone with it, spoke to them. Granted I know that the lady on Casualty was only acting but nonetheless it was recognised. That woman on Embarrassing bodies, she was real. I'm glad the lady on Casualty was only an actress because the advice she was given was wrong, the BBC could have handled it alot better IMO. For anyone reading this that watched it, what was said was not entirely true. They mentioned one of the best things to do was go on the pill. This is an option yes, and was pushed onto me in the beginning, please don't feel that this is for the best if it doesn't suit you, its not the only option. There was also a mention of having an operation (laparoscopy) which would give you a five year ish gap to try for a baby but thats about it. This really got to me and is absolutely not true. You can try for a baby until you become menopausal like all other women. Endometriosis does not equal definite infertility. Some women are lucky to not have affected fertility such as the woman on embarrassing bodies. Infertility is a general term and can just mean it takes longer/more effort/more intervention to become pregnant, some people get pregnant at the drop of a hat but find it hard to maintain the pregnancy. Your fertility is not automatically doomed or restricted just because of Endometriosis.The woman on Embarrassing bodies, really did make me feel better. She had a laparoscopy and they showed it! It was VERY strange to see what would have happened to me. The tape on the eyes, the coloured tummy the moving the person over, where the cameras went in, everything! When they got in to her womb, they described her as having perfectly healthy ovaries, this was EXACTLY what was said to me before it was explained that you can still have cells, just not where they should be. Then it was highlighted that Lauren (I think that was her name) had webbing which was caused by Endo, and when they got through that, they found dark spots, they just looked like dark veins. It's made me want to see my pictures again to see if I have these dark lines as they looked familiar, I don't remember webbing. Anyway moving on!
I got an appointment to see the surgeon, the first thing I said when I was back on the ward is I did not want to see him again. I am fed up of him telling me I have IBS. I don't. I'm sorry but your wrong! I know what happens to my body and I have NO symptoms of IBS and a hell of a lot of Endometriosis symptoms. Out of all the medical people i've seen (10 on average, including doctors, nurses, gynaecologists, sonographers) you are the only one to disagree its Endometriosis. Anyway I'm cancelling this appointment. I am not going to see someone who will refer me to a bowel specialist, its a waste of mine and their time.
My scars! The one on my navel has gone completely. I can't tell where it was, if I'd only had that one, you would never know I'd had an operation, i'm amazed! The one on the bottom of my stomach, annoyingly is a very deep purple, still lumpy, and very obvious i'm afraid. This however was my fault not the surgeon's. I now I did too much in recovery and this is the result. Please please go easy!
Finally the endometriosis itself. I have felt a million times better in terms of mentally. I am in a constant state of happy since my operation, I obviously get annoyed at day to day things (such as the smelly tramp on the bus today!) like everyone else, but I don't get down anymore. I don't get muddled up in my head because I don't know whats wrong. It feels brilliant! I still get very tired and look forward to every weekend because I know I can sleep all day if needs be. I have however taken some iron tablets which helped slightly, I think its a mix of my anaemia and Endo that has caused the tiredness. More importantly the pain. I have to be honest and I really don't like saying this but, this month has been the worst pain wise so far this year I would say. Ive had pain thats made me stand still and hold my stomach like someone has just stabbed me, at totally random times, one I can recall is I was unlocking my front door and it hit me. The worst pain day I was at work. It lasted four long hours. It was uncontrollable like when I had the cell rupture. I had two tramadol and a paracetamol and they did nothing. I was panting like women in labour through them, I was stood up rocking, I was sat down squirming. I could not get comfy, I was in tears and everyone around me was fussing. It was horrible. I knew there was nothing that could be done about it I just had to ride it through. People thought I was going to pass out I thought I would at one point.
I still maintain that a laparoscopy was a positive. I can now at least say I tried it.
Wow what a mammoth post!
I'm off to bed!
xoxo
