Hiya blog!
OK so it's not been so long since I last blogged but unfortunately that's not a good thing. (I meant to do this on Thursday but then Tim started cooking and I had to run an errand and then, well, life got in the way so to speak).
I've really suffered this month, not good.
I ended up taking co-codamol on 26th November for my pain - except it's been that long since I took them that I took them on an empty stomach. Drove back to work picking up a sandwich on the way and then it all went a bit pear shaped. I got really light headed as it had been well over 12 hours since I last ate anything, my head was spinning and I tried to eat but I felt so sick (from the pain, the co-codamol or a mix of both, I couldn't be bothered working out which). I was sat at work with my head between my legs - so attractive and a cup of sugared water. I got over that though and moved on as you do.
A week later, 3rd December I ended up having an impromptu appointment with the gynae. As lovely as he is and it was to have a catch up, it's never a good sign being in his office is it? I had what could only resemble a bladder infection. However the doctor thought it was tied to my Endometriosis so sent me to Gynae. It hurt to pee, really hurt, I felt like I needed to wee all the time. Bathing didn't help, drinking wasn't doing anything. I tried over the counter medicine for cystitis this also did nothing. I had been suffering since November 30th but was trying to control this - in the end I just couldn't. Suffering became too hard. The nurse wrote out a prescription for some tablets but she got it wrong. The pharmacy refused to give me the tablets as the script was wrong and sent me back to hospital. The nurse refused to take responsibility and I stood for an hour arguing with a number of people in Gynae/the pharmacy to do something. In the end I ended up breaking down into tears and shouting 'Will somebody just give me something - anything to help me'. I felt like a flaming junkie.
Telling Tim that night about my day shocked him somewhat. Like every man in my life, he hadn't fully understood. He didn't realise just what this does to my life. Seeing the look on his face, broke my heart. I remember him saying he was stupid for not fully taking in what me having this meant. He wasn't and isn't silly - I don't expect him to understand, I never have and never will. He is amazing though, he's so supportive and I couldn't ask for more than that. I know that when I need him, he'll be there.
He proved how much I could depend on him three days later when I crashed my car! That wasn't anything to do with my Endometriosis though - that was me being an idiot driver. I called him and he was straight there.
I'm suffering these past couple of days, I am extremely tired and today I had a short stabby pain that stopped me in my tracks but i'm battling through as you have to really.
I find the Endometriosis reappearing alot easier. I'm not sure if that's because of the amazing support I get from Tim or because I'm used to it. I'd like to think the first. Hopefully the symptoms won't last and i'll be right as rain for christmas and 2014.
xoxo
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Another couple of months another couple of big changes
Me again!
Where to begin?
I suppose I best start by saying that after all my efforts the past six months to become a full time barmaid and after making it to a relief assistant manager for pubs.... I left my job on October 26th.
While being a RAM, I met alot of people, this happens anyway being a barmaid but because I was on relief I was moving around to different pubs. Ten in 4 months to be precise. However on my second to last pub, I met somebody who has made my life so different. He yes HE, has turned my world upside down but in a good way.
I met him and I knew then that I wanted him. I got him. On my last pub it became apparent though that being in pubs and being part of a relationship did not mix, something had to give and I couldn't let that be my relationship.
I walked away from pubs knowing that I had made the right decision, I went back to a bank and I am really enjoying the routine again. I love cooking dinner for us instead of me working and him being sat in the pub. I love going out at the weekends. I love having the same days off as everyone else!
I was tired of being tired all the time. I didn't want to be lonely. I wanted my life.
So yes thats my first bit of news.
I suppose my second bit of news is combined in there too!
I've met someone new. He's lovely, he's so kind, I feel like a princess and the other day I said 'I love you' for the first time since I said it a good couple of years ago! I meant it.
I have mentioned briefly my endometriosis but I dont want to go into it. Not yet. I don't see what good it would do. I have had to hide it on a couple of occasions and of course i'm not proud of that. I know that he wouldn't mind if I didn't hide it, but I would. I don't want him to worry. It hurts yes but he cant take the pain away. Maybe I am in denial now more than I was when I found out. I don't know.
Anyway thats it from me for now, no doubt i'll update again soon, i'll try and make it before new year ;)
xoxo
Where to begin?
I suppose I best start by saying that after all my efforts the past six months to become a full time barmaid and after making it to a relief assistant manager for pubs.... I left my job on October 26th.
While being a RAM, I met alot of people, this happens anyway being a barmaid but because I was on relief I was moving around to different pubs. Ten in 4 months to be precise. However on my second to last pub, I met somebody who has made my life so different. He yes HE, has turned my world upside down but in a good way.
I met him and I knew then that I wanted him. I got him. On my last pub it became apparent though that being in pubs and being part of a relationship did not mix, something had to give and I couldn't let that be my relationship.
I walked away from pubs knowing that I had made the right decision, I went back to a bank and I am really enjoying the routine again. I love cooking dinner for us instead of me working and him being sat in the pub. I love going out at the weekends. I love having the same days off as everyone else!
I was tired of being tired all the time. I didn't want to be lonely. I wanted my life.
So yes thats my first bit of news.
I suppose my second bit of news is combined in there too!
I've met someone new. He's lovely, he's so kind, I feel like a princess and the other day I said 'I love you' for the first time since I said it a good couple of years ago! I meant it.
I have mentioned briefly my endometriosis but I dont want to go into it. Not yet. I don't see what good it would do. I have had to hide it on a couple of occasions and of course i'm not proud of that. I know that he wouldn't mind if I didn't hide it, but I would. I don't want him to worry. It hurts yes but he cant take the pain away. Maybe I am in denial now more than I was when I found out. I don't know.
Anyway thats it from me for now, no doubt i'll update again soon, i'll try and make it before new year ;)
xoxo
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
So maybe 'regular' blogging was a bit optimistic!
In my defense, some days I barely get chance to breathe!
So I did it - I am now a full time barmaid :)))
My endometriosis has had a couple of funny reactions to this but nothing that is going to stop me!!
I had one night of pain but it was fine, I took a paracetamol and carried on.
The worst bit is when I worked a 60 hour week, I was physically and emotionally exhausted I just couldnt compose myself but I bounced back and don't regret a second of it.
I always thought that this would hold me back but it's not.
I am determined to make something of myself, to do what I want and do it well.
xoxo
So I did it - I am now a full time barmaid :)))
My endometriosis has had a couple of funny reactions to this but nothing that is going to stop me!!
I had one night of pain but it was fine, I took a paracetamol and carried on.
The worst bit is when I worked a 60 hour week, I was physically and emotionally exhausted I just couldnt compose myself but I bounced back and don't regret a second of it.
I always thought that this would hold me back but it's not.
I am determined to make something of myself, to do what I want and do it well.
xoxo
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Let's see if we can try and get back into this on a regular basis?
I am however making no promises! :P
Unfortunately I lost my job at the bank, but have no fear! I have decided... wait for it...... I'm going to become ...... a......... BARMAID!
I know you're sitting there thinking 'but you're already a barmaid?' yes I am, an evening barmaid however I am going to take it up full time. Exciting no?
Hopefully this will be happening imminently and if not then I have lots of other options until it does come about!
My endometriosis seems to be reacting in a pretty good way to bar work, I must admit I was worried, but it's nothing like I feared. I'm not going to lie sometimes it hurts at the end of the night but not enough to even need a paracetamol.
I have been feeling sick pretty much constantly recently but i'm not sure if that's endometriosis or something else. I haven't been down for a while but again, i've been given a reason to smile.
I love my life so much right now that I rarely even consider my endo.
When I was unhappy it would be there everyday and now? Now it's not.
I guess my point is this: Cherish those that mean the most to you because they are what enriches your life. Take the risk, because sometimes it turns out to be the best thing you could have done. Ride the storm because one day you'll reach the rainbow. Never regret what you did. Forget about the past, you can't change it, live for today, before it's gone, and dream of your future because one day you'll wake and realise that it's passed you by.
Mind over matter - everyday.
xxxx
Unfortunately I lost my job at the bank, but have no fear! I have decided... wait for it...... I'm going to become ...... a......... BARMAID!
I know you're sitting there thinking 'but you're already a barmaid?' yes I am, an evening barmaid however I am going to take it up full time. Exciting no?
Hopefully this will be happening imminently and if not then I have lots of other options until it does come about!
My endometriosis seems to be reacting in a pretty good way to bar work, I must admit I was worried, but it's nothing like I feared. I'm not going to lie sometimes it hurts at the end of the night but not enough to even need a paracetamol.
I have been feeling sick pretty much constantly recently but i'm not sure if that's endometriosis or something else. I haven't been down for a while but again, i've been given a reason to smile.
I love my life so much right now that I rarely even consider my endo.
When I was unhappy it would be there everyday and now? Now it's not.
I guess my point is this: Cherish those that mean the most to you because they are what enriches your life. Take the risk, because sometimes it turns out to be the best thing you could have done. Ride the storm because one day you'll reach the rainbow. Never regret what you did. Forget about the past, you can't change it, live for today, before it's gone, and dream of your future because one day you'll wake and realise that it's passed you by.
Mind over matter - everyday.
xxxx
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Remember me? ;)
Hi!
Haha. Over a year since i've blogged - where do I begin? What do I say?
Let's summise what's happened.
I went to England last June and made my decision - now was the time to leave, for good, to go home. So I came back to the Island I gave up my flat, sold all my stuff, learned to drive and passed my test in three months! I bought my car and began to look for a job. I found one in February of this year, so I handed in my notice and I packed my suitcase loaded my stuff into my mini with my mum and left. However I didn't start my new job, I got home and all I wanted was to come back to the Island. Four years worth of dreams gone.
Steph and I made things up after my last blog, like we should be and we turned 20, I didn't bother with mine but we celebrated hers and it was one of many nights I will treasure. We may fall out and we may go ages without seeing each other but you will always be such a massive part of my life and I could never see you hurting. Christmas came around and we bought new year in together. Like we have for the past three years. :D Saying goodbye was hard and the second thing I did after getting off the boat was come and see her.
Then there is Stasi, she knows more about my life than she probably wants to know, but then again the same goes for me and her life! I miss her and Oliver something rotten when I'm on the island but ours is a testament that good friendships arent based on seeing each other all the time. I cant wait to go and see her and Oliver for his party in a couple of weeks :) He is such a cutie and she is an amazing mum!
My relationship, well least said soonest mended I guess. It was decided (not mutually) that it was not worth carrying on with after almost 6 MONTHS of trying to fix it. BUT things fall apart so better things can fall together as they say.
I also now work two jobs (a bank in the day and a pub at night) and thanks to this I have my own flat back, ironically right next door to the one I gave up :)
Finally and most importantly (?) My endometriosis. It's not be fun or easy. BUT I haven't been hospitalised since my operation (YEAH!!) A few of them have been painful, I had to dig myself out the snow one weekend and that was it, I was in tears because i'd 'overdone' it. Reality is I had dug my car out, no different to everyone else. I'm not sure how it's going to take to working two jobs (especially one on my feet and heavy lifting). I still get days where I am sick. Where I am down. I am tired a lot of the time. But I know that as long as I can treat the pain I will be OK.
xxxxxxx
Haha. Over a year since i've blogged - where do I begin? What do I say?
Let's summise what's happened.
I went to England last June and made my decision - now was the time to leave, for good, to go home. So I came back to the Island I gave up my flat, sold all my stuff, learned to drive and passed my test in three months! I bought my car and began to look for a job. I found one in February of this year, so I handed in my notice and I packed my suitcase loaded my stuff into my mini with my mum and left. However I didn't start my new job, I got home and all I wanted was to come back to the Island. Four years worth of dreams gone.
Steph and I made things up after my last blog, like we should be and we turned 20, I didn't bother with mine but we celebrated hers and it was one of many nights I will treasure. We may fall out and we may go ages without seeing each other but you will always be such a massive part of my life and I could never see you hurting. Christmas came around and we bought new year in together. Like we have for the past three years. :D Saying goodbye was hard and the second thing I did after getting off the boat was come and see her.
Then there is Stasi, she knows more about my life than she probably wants to know, but then again the same goes for me and her life! I miss her and Oliver something rotten when I'm on the island but ours is a testament that good friendships arent based on seeing each other all the time. I cant wait to go and see her and Oliver for his party in a couple of weeks :) He is such a cutie and she is an amazing mum!
My relationship, well least said soonest mended I guess. It was decided (not mutually) that it was not worth carrying on with after almost 6 MONTHS of trying to fix it. BUT things fall apart so better things can fall together as they say.
I also now work two jobs (a bank in the day and a pub at night) and thanks to this I have my own flat back, ironically right next door to the one I gave up :)
Finally and most importantly (?) My endometriosis. It's not be fun or easy. BUT I haven't been hospitalised since my operation (YEAH!!) A few of them have been painful, I had to dig myself out the snow one weekend and that was it, I was in tears because i'd 'overdone' it. Reality is I had dug my car out, no different to everyone else. I'm not sure how it's going to take to working two jobs (especially one on my feet and heavy lifting). I still get days where I am sick. Where I am down. I am tired a lot of the time. But I know that as long as I can treat the pain I will be OK.
xxxxxxx
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