I need help.
As you can tell today has been a horrendous day.
I think i'm depressed. AGAIN. I can't beleive this keeps happening, but part of me is hoping its just a symptom and like symptoms of all things it comes and goes. Part of me is assuming it will be gone tomorrow. It will, wont it?
I've had a busy day at work. I worked through the majority of my lunch.
I was walking home and heard something drop. I looked at my wrist and my charm bracelet wasnt there. I was in bits. I couldn't beleive it. I looked on the pavement, practically on my hands and knees for half an hour. Walked between work and where I heard the drop about five times. Even asked the cleaner at work. I came home looked in the bathroom, the hall, around the bed, on the bed, shook the cover, even looked in the wardrobe. My dad came back to the flat to help me look again. It was in my pillow case. WTF?
Then we went out to get some tea and I thought I had my card but I coudn't find that. I got home and realised it didn't even leave the flat.
Thing is I couldnt remember what I did with my bracelet this morning, I remember it being on the bathroom floor but not what happened after that. I remember picking my card up but not putting it down again. Why, why can't I remember?
I actually feel like i'm going mad.
I want to break down and cry, I want somebody to feel how I do so they can understand. As Florence says 'Hit me like a train on a track'
I wan't to be held and told it'll all be OK. But I never cry around other people. I hide it away.
xoxo
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